mulkabu

mulkabu @ 2008-02-14T00:02:00

2008-02-14T00:04:13Z

Rhymes with Varpcon

2008-01-29T16:31:28Z

Posited with "Would you rather skip Christmas or your Birthday?" I expressed an immediate preference for the family-oriented Xmas, to appreciative cooing. "Would you rather skip Christmas or Warpcon" would yield a much less likeable answer I fear. Warpcon really is the shit, and I'm saying that in the throes of a hangover now well into its second day.

No you're ghey!

2008-01-18T03:34:01Z

I never had much time for egyptian mythology, but a wiki excursion after watching the awesomely hilarious Zeitgeist:the movie unearthed this gem:

By the Nineteenth dynasty, the previous brief enmity between Set and Horus, in which Horus had ripped off one of Set's testicles, was revitalised as a separate tale. According to Papyrus Chester-Beatty I, Set was considered to have been homosexual and is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river, so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food (the Egyptians thought that lettuce was phallic). After Set has eaten the lettuce, they go to the deities to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The deities first listen to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answers from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the deities listen to Horus' claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answers from inside Set.^[6] In consequence, Horus is declared the ruler of Egypt.

And 5000 years later this same verbal war is enacted every night by millions of teenagers playing halo over their headsets. Nothings new, nothings new.

Gaelic Aristeia Association

2008-01-17T17:31:56Z

Happened to see the RTE news yesterday, and saw an item on the GAA implementing new rules to combat .. well, to combat combat on the pitch. There's too much fighting, they say blah blah, and they have a fix : The Third Man Rule.

In any altercation, there is to be no true harm or real foul until a third player becomes involved. That third man will have the book thrown at him, for bringing the game into disrepute and making the earth a colder and lonelier place.

GAA might be like the immaculate abomination lovechild between Fianna Fail and Opus Dei, but hot diggity dog, ya gotta get behind an organisation that says Single Combat between two players on a pitch, two pissheads outside a chipper, Hector and Patroclus, Fionn and Diarmuid, Rock and Stone Cold, Rocky and Drago, Muhammed Ali and Foreman, me and that guy in fourth class, Ryu and Sagat - that this is the good shit and this is what they want in Croke Park for all the apples in Ireland.

mulkabu @ 2008-01-16T01:28:00

2008-01-16T02:23:17Z

Fluffed by primary caucuses, I got in line with all the other Sorkinphiles for Charlie Wilson's War and manged to be to be titillated while being administered my cumbersome suppository of morality.

If these few words already suggest a ratio less signal-to-noise than tits-to-ass, it's cause I just spent 90 mins in a dark room with an enormous screen used to project forty foot wide tits and twenty foot high ass entirely fucking incessantly. That's an hour and a half of giant tits, I'm still gonna be asking google to filter me for freudian slips tomorrow.

Telling a story is like sticking a pin through a melon, the melon being the events, and where you stick the pin through is the route you navigate through 'em. There's a zillion ways of perforating that fruit, but it being a movie, and costing some people some money they'd like the theory of seeing again sometime, movies gotta violate that melon in a way melons have proven profitably penetrable, be it a romantic incision, an action-adventure violation, a buddy-cop-comedy Martin Lawrence fruitfucking, etc fucking etc.

Hence the reason we stop going to the movies - once you've seen a hundred hollywood movies, you've seen them all. All that remains is foreign movies and a numbed confusion that the movie didn't go where you've been programmed to know it would go. Which sounds great and adventurous and nou-fucking-veau but usually involves the fucking hero snogging his daughter at the end of the movie to thunderous applause and fireworks (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118756/ - great fucking movie though right up to the incest, which I feel is a fair assessment even if it makes me a country-mouse who likes his nouveau comfortably old-school). The more common hollywood ending is the one that would encourage people to bound out of the cinema on a high and give the flick some word-of-mouth advertisual lurve, that's just common fiscal darwinian sense.

Well anyway this melon :pin->vector caught me by surprise. Sorkin's adaptation of a book on backroom politics of the room next to Ollie North's - you know how this melon's gonna get romanced a mile away, right? Its gonna be A Few More Good Men, Nichols directing, you can see Primary Colours: Bleu a mile off right? Wrong. It's Red Dawn II. Red freaking Patrick Swayze Dawn!!

Score one for the forces of Incongruity, great fucking movie.

As usual

2008-01-07T12:58:58Z

Reading an obit for Norman Mailer, I came across this tale for the first time.

Norman once got into a heated argument with Gore Vidal, and ended up punching him out. As Mailer stormed/was dragged off, Vidal was helped to his feet, nursing his tender jaw. "Words failed him " he pouted "... as usual".

QI

2007-12-08T23:55:49Z

I have created a new pass-time.

It's watching QI.

Definitely numbering with the small steps and not the great leaps of innovation, says you.

If you haven't seen QI, its a bbc creation where some genuine Aldrin who surely gets paid Armstrong bucks was at a dinner party and was entranced by Stehen Fry's bon mots, said to hisself "There's TV there" and delicately shoehorned it into a format in the delicate way Bubba the mythic giant negro inmate shoehorns his cock into the new inmates arse.

The format is "Have I got news for you" which was been repeatedly aped to death by utter shite like "Never mind the buzzcocks" - which is itself about as comedic as stubbing your bare toe off the table leg. The usual victims are rounded up (Jupitus, Brand....) and sacrificed on a blood altar of mortification to show us that despite how impossible it sounds, Fry seems as smart as he's smug.

Occasionally, the restrictions of the format break down entirely and Fry or Bailey or Hall or whomever makes you laugh like a schoolgirl at a Westlife concert applauds, and all is well, and none of this is new to anyone who's seen the show, and certainly is no new passtime.

It's watching QI on youtube.

Which means every time Fry tells someone ten years his senior "No no, silly boy, there are actually two moons orbitting earth, but you couldn't possibly have known that, being not so clever as I" with a witheringly know-it-all look on his face you scream "bollox!" and viciously alt-tab to wiki the motherfucker, get the actual facts, and return to the youtube window while the genteel applause for Frys bombastic applomb is still ringing out and wither the shit out of your smirk cause you know more than the know it all.

I've been watching the show for the last four hours, and I'm fairly sure I was supposed to go to the pub three and a half hours ago. Stephen Fry might be a wanker, but he does funny voices better than anyone else alive. I'm fairly sure I'd have liked Idi Amin if he did funny voices.

It's raining yeah

2007-12-06T03:18:15Z

Cuisine du Chapeau

2007-11-26T03:54:17Z

Neil Gaiman is a talentless boor, whose hackery has long stunk of mysticism without revelation. Put a pint in my hand and tell me how much you love Neil Gaimans work, and a happier ranting sot will not be found on gods green earth.

And so then I read American Gods five years after the literate populace of Earth. I could try and pretend it is entirely written by his mentor Moore, but it wasn't, so I won't. Instead, it must be admitted the fucker can write - and fucking well.

On the brighter side of recalcitration, this means I should go back and give his other opus, Sandman, an exhaustive second chance, and I am optimistic this protracted readathon of utter arse will dull my guilt of unfair dismissal rather entirely.

Brian

mulkabu @ 2007-08-09T23:18:00

2007-08-09T22:35:59Z

I have recently taken on a morbid fascination with internet commentary. The lower the level of communication, the more knee jerk the lizardbrain reflex, the more hilarious I find the discourse. Like a psychic granny reading tea leaves, I find the delta of the internet in the top comment on a youtube video.

This brief exchange is taken from an imdb thread on the movie Next:

CRRRRAAAAAAAAPFEST- this movie is H0RSE5HlT
by souw84    (Sat Jul 21 2007 16:55:59)
6.3? people are stupid. *beep* movie. Horrible acting. Moronical cheesecheap wannabepopcorn unwatchable crapfestivalleus opportunity to waste 96 miserable movieenduring longest minutes of your life.
Frustrating. Entertainment for the inbred IQ 69 to 96 that generates box office hits [too lazy to look, how much this desaster grossed, but while I'm sure it wasn't a hit, I'm still sure it made much much more than it should have ]. This movie sucks, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaad. It really is representative for what is not right with the movie industrie. This is like a current epicenter of CRAP!!!

Re: CRRRRAAAAAAAAPFEST- this movie is H0RSE5HlT
by jonas-210   (Wed Jul 25 2007 01:38:02)
Ignore this User | Report Abuse     Reply
I A-A-A-A-GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!

Re: CRRRRAAAAAAAAPFEST- this movie is H0RSE5HlT
by tempac91   (Wed Jul 25 2007 02:47:48)
u damn trolls! this movie is a masterpiece!!!

I'm going to be waking up in the middle of the night tonight giggling uncontrollably at "u damn trolls!".

Brian

We live at 88mph

2007-08-03T22:51:14Z

I make like a broken record when it comes to "sci-fi" showing up in the real news, as it does every single week these days and this week I thought it was the story on superpowers jostling for resources emerging from beneath the melting icecaps, but no, it's even more B-list :

http://blog.wired.com/defense/2007/08/httpwwwnational.html

This Buck Rogers doesn't remember falling asleep. What year is it????? No one can explain how the electronics in their pockets work, and the tech news makes me check if its April 1.

Brian

mulkabu @ 2007-07-24T15:45:00

2007-07-24T14:57:44Z

I may have to revise my poor opinion of the 99% of genius that is perspiration, coz this is low on inspiration but gets 5 gold stars on my Einsteinometer:

http://www.adultswim.com/games/biblefight/index.html

A trailer...

2007-07-18T14:01:34Z

A trailer ... for a board game?

Ah Balls.

2007-07-08T15:32:01Z

Brian : Do you what I think is a fairly interesting thought I wish to add to this converstaion?

Kev : No, Brian, what is your deep thought that demo's your deep, deep, bottomlessly deep depths.

Brian : I think sometimes I like a rainy summers day. It means you don't have to feel bad about farting about watching dvds and playing games.

Kev : It think that's a song lyric.

Brian : ...

Kev: By U2

Brian : Ah.

Kev : Ya know, Bono.

Brian : Ah Balls.

Superpoderosas

2007-06-19T14:40:15Z

My new favourite word in the whole world is ... superpoderosas

mulkabu @ 2007-05-19T17:40:00

2007-05-19T16:41:26Z

Gold!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34094

Gold!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0779982/

Gold!

http://www.whorecraft.com

Uri Geller

2007-04-09T16:05:59Z

Uri Geller was making a racket on the radio demanding a youtube video debunking his spoon-fu be taken down. This has surely had the obvious effect of alerting anyone who was interested that such a video existed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9w7jHYriFo

Funny-ha-ha that such a cult-forming charismariachi as Geller would get the public kaybosh by someone equally as engaging.

Randi applies his finishing move, borowed from Razor Ramon, The Occams Razors Edge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlfMsZwr8rc

Awesome stuff. Where was this guy when The X Files was rotting every morons brain in the first world?

Brian

Amsterdam accom

2007-03-15T12:02:51Z

I'd make a fruity innuendoperatic suggestive nudge and a wink before cutting to the image, but as I'm too cheap to pay for LJ and I'm just using my profile avatar...

The bed on the left was Lee Murphys. The bed on the right was Brian Mulcahys.

Whoah-ah!

Brian

The Koffic

2007-02-04T17:39:30Z

The Bodega's been bought and will be bulldozed in the next 10 days to make room for a shopping mall.

A man losing his bar of choice is one thing, but taking his venue for weekend afternoon board games and magic melees and eggs benedict?

Friday, then, for the last night at the Bodega.

Brian

Suitably enigmatically, lovechild Aronofsky informed "Dad".

2006-10-26T14:55:00Z

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/sixwords_pr.html

mulkabu @ 2006-10-17T14:15:00

2006-10-17T13:39:53Z

Often wondered how this worked:

http://www.downtownexpress.com/de_179/howiwasduped.html

Word on the street says the movie's good, and Cohen is allegedly Oscar bound. Of course the selfsame street promises an oscar for Eddie in Dreamgirls, so the source is clearly no the most while purveyor of truth. No Sesame street, that's fo sho.

The West Stuff/The Right Wing

2006-10-13T16:54:41Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPyQ4Ae6Ei0

Four more years bitches!

This reposnse was interesting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGhf15leH4I

The "Good Night..." tagline rung odd, as he's totally carrying Murrows banner, while entirely missing the point. Murrow used facts to nail coffins, this guy Olbermann throws mud to dirty windows. Of course, I've been an Ed Murrow fan since Imperial and not since I saw the movie a week ago.

Brian
vaguely waiting for Bush to make an incredibly inspirational comeback speech, while curiously background muzakked by Dire Straits. Stupid Sorkin.

mulkabu @ 2006-08-28T13:23:00

2006-08-28T12:42:35Z

I heard from some guy that laughing at Japanese Game shows is neither big nor clever but list me under small n' stupid:

stupidity

Free Dvds

2006-07-20T12:25:15Z

02 customers can avail themselves of free dvd rentals. So I did.

Going to the videostore

(yes it's still a videostore, even if it doesn't stock any vhs, and yes the New Bridge in Limerick is twenty years old, and *yea* it still be the New Bridge. Language must live in the fucking vernacular gawdemmit.)

is generally a group effort, and generally a group effort will result in a camel.

(A horse built by a committe is a camel : Old Klingon saying implying the inefficacy of committee. Man try that shit with an arab four days from an oasis with only your piss to drink and you're going to look pretty stupid. That saying isn't very deep.)

So being able to just select dvd rentals from the online videostore is obviously a solo effort, it allows one to rent the movies one wants. This may seem unextraordinary, but you try going to rent a movie with Doc some time. Anyhoo, I have now compiled a wishlist of dvds, which will wing their way to my door. This list is "Brian movies what he wants to see", a veri-fucking-table window on the fucking soul.

I made the list in work last week after Sonya let me in on the o2 "secret", which turns out to be on the radio ad-breaks more often than black people are on mtv. A week later I gaze back on my list, and lo, it doth gaze back:

3: Sky High
4: Solaris (2002)
5: The Punisher (2004)
6: Sideways
7: Extras
8: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
9: Y Tu Mama Tambien
10: Layer Cake
11: Wonder Boys
12: Pi
13: Oceans Twelve
14: Feet of Flames
15: Lord Of War
16: Resident Evil Apocalypse
17: SchoolOfRock
18: Sopranos Series 1 Vol1, The
19: Ricky Gervais Politics
20: Ringers Lord Of The Fans
21: Bill Bailey Bewilderness Live
22: Serenity
23: Bill Hicks Sane Man
24: Signs
25:

Some notes:

1) Like I have shoegazingly told many a teacher in my yoof, I have an explantion, but there can be no excuse - for uimhir a ceathardeag on the list.

2) I don't even like Ricky Gervais. The reason he crops up so often on the list is I want to check his stuff out.

3) "Ringers" is a fucking fan-made documentray about the sad fuckers taht go to Lord of the Rings conventions to meet actors. And by actors, I don't mean cool fuckers like McKellen, I mean like the hobbit who was even shitter than the other hobbit who is the shittest thing on Lost, which is frankly saying a fucking lot. Wtf.

4)The current top-rated movie on list is a Disney hero about superheroes. Why I wasn't willing to wait five years for it to be on the "The big big movie" on rte1 on a saturday evening so I can miss it by going getting drunk early, I have nooo idea. Still, Kurt Ruseel + Bruce Campbell + Lynda Carter (who I just realised I love more than that swede from the Eurovision. More even than Marion from bosco I think.) ... nah, with cast like that, I can't fucking wait to see it.

5) Pi. I have "been meaning to see it" since it got made. I know I'll love it, and be glad I saw it. I'm 100% certain it'll lie around the house for 3 days, and then get sent back so i can get the next movie. There are lots of movies like this in one way (Once we were Warriors, Romper Stomper..) that I just avoid to avoid being depressed by a great movie that dwells to surely enlightening effct on the shitter aspects of being a fucking human. I'd rather watch a 100% guarnteed poo like Oceans twelve.

6) I've been meaning to rent The Man Who Wasn't There since it came out. It didn't even make this list, so I will never see it. It just looks so boring.. the Coen brother can go swivel on this one.

7) O yeah, Feet of Flames. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0208140/
I know. i fucking know. But I heard in the pub (that's a lie. I heard it from a buddy in another bed when we saring a hotel room at a con. But that sounds like teh ghey, hence "in a pub" shoehorns the phrase like social lubricant. (Horn? Lubricant? ghey?))- Anyfuckingway, the point is at the end of the show, the horrible cunt (aborted aside : went to recount the "hello magazine" story, but told that fucker to death. Just ask me "in the pub".) .. the audience are bored of three hours of dancing, and basically hankering for Live at Three on a monday with Sonny Noels. So, Flatley sets his feet on fire, and then dances. Fuck that, I gotta see that shit.

Movies 1 and 2 were Jarheads and Some Kind of Monster, 25 is empty as I discovered afterwards that the Pryor stand up I had picked was the one I saw a month ago.

Jarheads was a training+gotowar movie, guess what: the training bit wasn't as good as Full metal Jackets'. Guess what else: the gotowar bit was better. What a fucking shock. Not amazing by any means.

Some Kind of Monster was an overlong Metallica rockumentary, which showed the band making an album, bitching, and being really, really suburbanite. I got the impression the heart of the story was left on the editing room floor by Control Freak James, Dickhead Lars, and Kirk "I just don't want mommy and daddy to fight" Hammet.
The only emotion that resonated properly was an interview with 14-year veteran bass player Jason, who had left the band. He wanted to have some influence in the music the band made, but was shut out by James. This was the same deal as on the "Year and a Half" flyonthewall I watched when i was 15. James says if he made an album without the band, he was out. So he does and he is. There's an interview with jason, adn the only word for his demeanour is "wounded". He's just a wounded animal talking, and it shows just how bad people can take things that mater to them, even intangible concepts. Then there's Dave Mustaine who gets his moan on, but he's not wounded, he's just a twisted loser :-)
They band get a new bass player ( x years later), and the fucking awe on his face when he gets the job is touching. A door closes and a window gets opened I guess.

Bottom line, if yo o2, get yoself some free movies.

Brian

mulkabu @ 2006-05-22T16:43:00

2006-05-22T15:43:55Z

I can't believe I only ever put superhero crap on this. Oh well:

http://www.comicbookresources.com/media/VIDEO_00202.mp4

Drunken folk at a convention do a fastball special. They're so drunk you gotta turn your head/monitor on its side.

Are we really this impervious to harm when we're drunk?